


Jack Makes Great Ham

by clarkoholic



Category: Eureka
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-23
Updated: 2010-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-06 14:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkoholic/pseuds/clarkoholic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had to throw the best party in Eureka's history if he wanted to shed his apparent reputation as a bad party planner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack Makes Great Ham

**Author's Note:**

> Written for: fai_dust who wanted Stark/Jack slash or friendly rivalry with Sushi and Pizza. For Starks_Lab's 2009 Secret Santa Exchange

"I can't believe you agreed to host that ridiculous party," Nathan said, leaning against the counter with a steaming cup of coffee held to his lips.

Jack gave him a sideways glance, most of his attention still on the sizzling omelets he was preparing for their breakfast. "Do you have something against Christmas parties?"

"When it's a Eureka Christmas party, yes."

Jack walked to Nathan's side and scooted him out of the way to retrieve plates from the cabinet. "Is this because of what happened last year?" Nathan still hadn't gotten over his car being destroyed at the last party. Not that Jack blamed him. A flaming Christmas tree falling on one's car would put a damper on the holiday festivities.

Nathan grunted and mumbled into his coffee. "I liked that car."

"I promise not to let Fargo near the Christmas lights, or anything that might catch on fire," he said smiling. He flipped the omelets one more time before sliding them onto their plates.

"It's _Fargo_. He could set water on fire."

Jack rounded the counter to the breakfast bar and Nathan joined him, taking his place at the stool next to Jack's. "I won't let Fargo near the water either."

"Alright," Nathan sighed, "if you insist on throwing the party, you're at least going to do it right."

"I think I can handle it." Jack said, trying and failing to sound offended. He took a bite of eggs and added with a full mouth, "Remember your birthday party? Did a good job with that, didn't I?"

Nathan set his fork down and looked pointedly at Jack, his expression a mixture of amusement and pique. "If your definition of good is forgetting to buy a cake and invite the guests, then yes. Great job, Jack." His voice was dripping with sarcasm and it made Jack laugh and thus choke on his food.

"Ah," Jack said, swallowing and trying to catch his breath again. "Forgot about that." He paused, his eyes widening as realization hit him, "Maybe that's why Allison was so reluctant to give me this party."

Nathan laughed and added, "Don't forget last year's Halloween party."

Jack sucked in a hissed breath through his teeth at the thought of that disastrous night. Who knew pumpkins could explode so easily? "Oh yeah, that didn't turn out too well either."

"Sheriff Carter," S.A.R.A.H chimed in, "I would like to offer my services for your event."

Nathan's head perked up, his interest peaked. "I didn't know you were a party planner, S.A.R.A.H."

"Oh yes, Dr. Stark," she said enthusiastically.

"She's been watching those wedding planning shows on T.V." Jack whispered, sipping on his juice.

"Do you have any experience?" Nathan asked, humoring her.

"Not officially, but Eureka's annual Christmas party would be the perfect opportunity to showcase my talents."

Jack shook his head, emphatically. "No, no, no. I have something to prove now. I'm going to do this one on my own and it'll be great!"

After a moment of silence, S.A.R.A.H said, "If you say so, _Sheriff_."

The emphasis she placed on his title told Jack she wasn't happy in the slightest, but he knew she would turn into a Christmas party Bridezilla if he allowed her to help. Plus, now more than ever, he needed to prove that he could throw a party that didn't end horrendously. He had to throw the best party in Eureka's history if he wanted to shed his apparent reputation as a bad party planner.

"Well, if you think you'll do better than S.A.R.A.H, by all means, tell us your plan." Nathan joked.

Jack looked at his fork, full of his ham and cheese omelet. "Ham," he said thoughtfully.

"Ham?" Nathan raised his brow.

"Christmas ham."

"I do not understand," S.A.R.A.H said from above.

"Everyone loves a juicy ham at Christmas and I make a great ham."

"No kidding," Nathan murmured and took another bite of his breakfast.

"Do you have a better suggestion?" Jack asked, having heard Nathan's not so sly comment.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"Lets hear it then."

"Alright," Nathan said, adjusting his position to face Jack. Jack noticed how his posture straightened and his features steeled. He ran a hand down his chest, flattening his tie. He was shifting into presentation mode. "You have to cater to your audience, therefore, you need to know your audience."

"I know everyone in town," Jack interrupted, folding his arms in a defiant manner.

"Shut up," Nathan said quickly. "No you don't. You come from a world of normal holiday traditions with sugarplums and gumdrops. Almost everyone in this town grew up attending urbane academic holiday events."

"Are you saying I'm not sophisticated?" Jack asked indignantly.

"Yes," Nathan with a grin that told Jack he was teasing.

Jack smiled back and played along. "What do you think I should serve?"

Nathan thought for a moment. He turned back to his breakfast and continued to eat while he rattled off the names of what Jack could only assume were food because he hadn't heard of half of them.

"…on second thought, sushi would be great. We could serve sashimi too…"

"Sushi? You've got to be kidding me? _Sushi?!_"

Nathan looked surprised. "You like sushi." He spoke like he thought Jack was the strange person suggesting raw fish for the main course of a Christmas party.

"Not for Christmas!"

"It's better than ham."

Jack gaped at him. "I can't believe this is even a discussion," he said, shaking his head. "There is no possible way raw fish is better than a warm, juicy ham."

"Sushi is refined."

Jack could've sworn he lifted his head higher. "Oh my God, you are such a snob," he teased.

"It's called having taste, Jack." Nathan said, matter of fact.

"Ok, you want sushi? Fine, then I want pizza."

"Pizza? What about your precious ham?"

"Well, apparently ham isn't good enough for you crazy scientists."

"And you think _pizza_ is a better choice?" Nathan sounded astonished that Jack would suggest such a thing as pizza for a formal party and Jack felt a sense of victory. There was no way Nathan would let him serve pizza, which meant he wouldn't let Nathan have sushi either.

\\\

Much to S.A.R.A.H's dismay, Jack planned the entire party himself. And if pressed, he'd admit that Nathan helped, but only a little. The bunker was decorated to the hilt with lights and garland, and was packed with the their friends and colleagues. Fargo and Jo were singing bad karaoke in the living room with Vincent, Zoe, and Henry watching and laughing from the couch. The duo appeared to be feeling the affects of Vincent's 'special' eggnog that smelt like it was strong enough to knock out a horse.

Allison came to Jack's side, a small plate of sushi in hand. "Jack, your place looks amazing! I'm tempted to commission you for every party from now on."

"I don't know about that," Jack laughed.

"Come on, Carter," Nathan said, joining them. "You liked it."

"It wasn't too bad. Turned out pretty good, didn't it?" He said, glancing around the room at their smiling friends, everyone was enjoying the night.

"I have to say, I'm impressed," Nathan said with no hint of sarcasm.

They held each other's gaze for a minute, a smile on both their lips.

"The food is wonderful too," Allison interrupted their silent moment.

Jack tore his attention away from Nathan and looked at Allison. "Thanks! I'm happy with my choices, " he said and then took another bite of his pizza.

The End.


End file.
